Just Another Day
by The Irritated Observer
Summary: It was just another day at GOA... Watch out for cheap special effects, out-of-character actions, and a power crazed twelve-year-old. This is, if you haven't guessed already, a story that mocks all that is bad in the Megami Kouhosei fandom.
1. The Beginning

Author Notes: (9/19) I just reread the story and realized I had accidentally uploaded the wrong version.  There are not many major differences, so you don't need to read the chapter again.

Author Notes: I wrote this story because I am sick of 30 word chapters and I am sick with cliché storylines with no originally.  So I wrote this story, a parody of all that is bad in Megami Kouhosei.  If you're offended, I'm not sorry, because this should be a wake up call that you should try to do better.  There is no excuse for some of the crap that gets posted in MK's fandom.  I'm not saying that this is a work of art, or that I'm the next Kay Willow.  I wrote this in about a half hour and I have no illusions of greatness.  This is meant as a few laughs for those of you who have literary standards and it is meant as a wake up call for those of you who don't.  It should be a one-shot.

Just Another Day

By The Irritated Observer

One Saturday evening, a young twelve year old stayed up late and came upon a show called Pilot Candidate.  When Cartoon Network issued its standard and, admittedly, completely idiotic warning for those under eighteen, she blithely ignored it; except, perhaps, to turn down the volume a bit.

The young girl fell in love with the show, so the next day she rushed online to find more about it.  Her first stop was Fanfiction.net.  She was disheartened to find no category listed under Pilot Candidate.  However, she decided to make the best of it and search elsewhere on the web.  So, the adolescent junior high school student went to Google and typed in her new, favorite show title.  When the results came up, she entered the first site on the list.   The young girl then realized that the show was also known as Megami Kouhosei.  When she checked back on Fanfiction.net, she was thrilled to find that there was already a category for the anime.  She was so excited that she exited the other site right away, without learning any information, and began to write her own fan fiction, pausing only to lie on the Fanfiction.net registration about her age.

And to think, it started as just another day.

The façade of an ordinary day lay upon GOA as well.  The simulation training had already been completed and there was another hour before classroom lessons began, all candidates and repairs had been left to their own devices until they were called upon again.

Ikhny walked down the metal hallway, mentally listing all she had done today and all that was left to do.  It was a repair's duty to support her candidate, and Ikhny would see that duty through--even if the candidate was someone like Hiead.

There is an old saying that goes something along the lines of 'think of someone and they will appear'.  Not willing to break the cliché, Hiead soon rounded the corner and blocked Ikhny's path.

Now, many a fan girl will point out Hiead's good locks as reason that he can't possibly be all bad.  While silver hair and crimson eyes may be captivating to those whose reading selection is limited to formula paperback romance novels, Ikhny can be the first to attest that demonic eyes are not at all appealing when they three inches away from your face and glowing in murderous rage. 

"Hi...Hiead…" Ikhny's voice trembled hesitantly, the memory of being slammed into a cold, steel wall incapable of being erased.  

Hiead eyed his partner with distaste.  She was weak, unable to keep up with him.  Someday, he would be allowed to leave her behind.  Then, he would become the top pilot and show them all.  The image of his brown-haired rival came to mind.

They stood silently, locked in place for their own reasons.  He watched her in hopes of discovering some flaw that would allow him to dump her.  She stood still in hopes that she would get out of this without any injuries, physical or mental.

And then, something changed.  The air twanged and reality rearranged itself to fit a child's whims.

Hiead looked at his brown-haired partner, a new feeling welling up from inside of him.  How could he have been so cruel?  How could he have hurt his dear Ikhny so?  There had to be some way to make amends…

Ikhny sensed that something was wrong.  The air had just gone 'twang'.  Not in the onomatopoeia sense, but in the-air-actually-said-"twang" sense.  And there seemed to be something wrong with Hiead's eyes…

While Ikhny was trying to sort out what had happened, Hiead had come to the juvenile conclusion that there was only one way to right the past wrong doings: true love.  So, quite unexpectedly, he reached forwards and swept his repairer up in a passionate kiss.

Ikhny, jerked out of her musing, stiffened in shock when her mind fully comprehended what Hiead was doing.  Immediately, she began to try to pull away; however, she was not strong enough.

It was fortunate, therefore, that Hiead was able to regain control of his limbs at this point.  Jerking away, he threw Ikhny into the opposite wall out of a desire to be as far away from her as possible, rather than out of any spite or malice.  The result, however, was basically the same.

While Ikhny was desperately trying to regain some equilibrium, Hiead was desperately trying to figure out what had just happened.  A million theories and possibilities crossed his mind, but Hiead was able to sum up his feelings in one simple statement.

"What the hell just happened?!"  

Ikhny, still dazed, had managed to stand up and was about to say something that would hopefully soothe her partner's temper, when they both heard a loud, overdramatic sigh.  Hiead spun around quickly, while Ikhny slowly turned her head.  Both candidate and repairer noticed a young girl standing in the hallway.  She was dressed in archaic clothes, rather than the mandatory repairer uniform.  Ikhny opened her mouth to warn the girl, but Hiead beat her to the opening remark.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?"  The girl, oblivious to Hiead's anger and growing hate, oblivious even the mere fact that sweet, darling, misunderstood Hiead could even possess the emotion known as hate, merely shook her head at the partners.

"And you were doing so well too."  She seemed to be talking to herself as well as them.  "I thought after I made you two kiss, everything would just work out."  She continued to mumble, though the only words they could make out where things like "12 step plan for getting them together" and "Hiead and Ikhny are such an adorable couple".  

Reviewing the strange girl's first comments, knowledge slowly dawned on Hiead.  "You made us…" The final word was too repulsive for Hiead even to utter.  The girl stopped her random chatter to look up at Hiead in clueless innocence to any wrong doing.

"Of course. I saw one episode of Pilot Candidate, and I just knew you two were destined to be together forever."  She beamed at the two animated characters before her, but their reaction of the news was less than ideal.  Ikhny blanched at the idea of forever with Hiead, and slid back down the wall.  Hiead, on the other hand, grew even more furious.

"Forever?  Together?  With her?!"  With each word, Hiead took a step closer to the girl. Images of different torture techniques raced through his mind.  Whoever this girl was, she was going to pay.

Instincts of ancestors long past, who had survived long enough to have descendants by running away from everything scary and strong, urged the young girl that now would be an excellent time to leave the partners in peace.  With a hasty goodbye the girl quickly walked backwards far enough to rush around a nearby corner.  With a snarl of vengeance, Hiead quickly followed.

Ikhny sat alone in the sterile hallways, still unable to fully comprehend everything that had just happened.  There was something that was bugging her, something that was clamoring for her attention.  There was something about that girl's eyes…

~*~

So, the first part is done.  Yes, I did say that this was going to be a one-shot.  However, I don't want to work on this anymore right now and I wanted to post this as soon as possible.  Besides, I've worked more on this already than many authors have on their stories, which is actually quite pathetic (for them, not me).

If you found this story offending, I've found your story offending in the past; so, now we're even.


	2. The Horror Continues

Author Notes:  I'm back.  There are four major things that I have to discuss before we begin the chapter.  

First, let me say oops.  I accidentally uploaded the wrong version of the first chapter.  There aren't any major differences, but when I resaved the file from .doc to .html, I made a few changes because of some formatting and grammar errors.  As soon as I reread the chapter online, I recognized what had happened.  However, when I went to change the chapter to the correct file, Fanfiction.net gave me an error message, so I don't know if it will get fixed.  

Secondly, thank you to those of you reviewed.  Your positive feedback restored some of my faith in this fandom.  

Thirdly, I was a little disappointed in the reviews for their lack of flames.  I know there are people out there who read this story, realized that it pertained to them, hated it, and went away.  Why?  The whole point of the review system is to voice your opinion.  I know there are some junior high kids out there who read the last chapter, swore aloud (though quietly enough so that their parents did not to hear them) in an attempt for the curse to go through the broadband, out of my modem, and strike me down where I typed.  Well, it didn't work, and I doubted that you believed that it would work.  So why didn't you just flame me?  If you're going to write crappy stories, the least you could do is defend them.  Please, I'm begging you to flame me.  Jam that Caps Lock key down and proceed to tell me how horrible I am.  You're not going to hurt my feelings. I promise.

Finally, the first chapter was direct smack to the face (or at least it was suppose to be).  The next chapters will also have forthright main points, but there will be some subtle jabs.  Watch out or you may miss them, and end up thinking this story is really weird (which it is, but it also should contain at least some high level thinking).

Wow, that was a really long author note.  There is one more thing, though, that I must say before we begin.  To the best of my knowledge, Kizna is an only child.  Now, let us get on with the show.

~*~

Just Another Day - Chapter Two

By The Irritated Observer

~*~

The mysterious girl had somehow escaped Hiead's homicidal rage.  However, the furious candidate was still stalking the halls in a methodical search pattern.  In the end, there would be no escape…

Elsewhere, the candidates and repairers of GOA were spending the last of their free time before lessons began, blissfully unaware of the terror that would strike them next.  It was the calm before the storm.

Kizna hummed a song to herself as she recalibrated the PRO-ING's reaction settings.  Zero had improved, again, in the simulation training by about .001 seconds.  In a matter of life and death, even a small hitch in reaction could be fatal.  Kizna knew that most repairers were not forced to spend what seemed like every waking moment readjusting their PRO-ING's settings, but, then again, most candidates didn't improve as fast as Zero did.

Besides, Kizna enjoyed her time in the PRO-ING docking bay.  The steady buzz of work provided the perfect backdrop, allowing her to completely focus on the task at hand.  The hanger was her place of refuge, where she could go and know that she would not be disturbed.  Everything seemed clearer when you were working with solid wires and circuits.

"KIZNA!" After Kizna recovered from her temporary hearing loss, she was able to identify the last person that she thought would disturb her at this time.  The cat-eared girl spun around to take in her partner.

"Zero, what are you doing here?"  While she spoke, Kizna's mind was rapidly taking note of subtle differences in Zero that had not been there a few hours ago.  The first thing that she noticed was that his eyes seemed to possess a bewildered expression at odds with everything else.  The second thing she noted was that his grin was so wide it looked forced and slightly insane.  

"CAN'T something I is CHECK wrong UP can't ON stop MY no FAVORITE control PARTNER?"  Kizna frowned in concern. Zero's voice had shifted radically between each word and the sentence as a whole had been completely incomprehensible.  Perhaps Zero had been injured in the simulation and had not told anyone.

"Maybe we should go to see Dr. Rill.  You don't sound too good, literally."  Zero shook his head.

"IT'S this SUCH stock AN dialog AWESOME is DAY!"  Zero took a deep breath, as if he was struggling with himself.  "I getting WOULDN'T to WANT me TO please MISS help IT."  Zero looked expectantly at his partner, but Kizna was still trying to puzzle out exactly what he had said.  The thought of paper and pen crossed her mind.

"Zero, this isn't very funny." If this was some weird joke, she would kill him…or at least kick him around a bit.  "Just talk like a normal person, or at least as normally as you usually do.  I can't understand you." Zero grounded his teeth in frustration.  Kizna was his final hope; there was no one else that he could think of to turn to.

"I can't DON'T if KNOW think WHAT too YOU'RE hard TALKING thoughts ABOUT."  Kizna discreetly looked out of the corner of her eyes for a spare pad of paper.  The way Zero's voice fluctuated between words made his speech impossible to understand by ear alone.  Zero, however, was not finished.  "ISN'T vanish IT as A if NICE taken DAY?"

"You already talked about the day," Kizna murmured, now opening searching for a writing utensil.

"KIZNA!" Zero rushed forwards, grabbing his partner's arms to force her to understand.

And then, everything changed.  For one thing, Kizna could have sworn she heard the air go "twang".  However, nothing so trivial mattered anymore.

Kizna stared at her partner in open admiration.  How could she have not seen how deep his gray eyes were?  Why had she never noticed how strong he was and how handsome his features were?  What had possessed her to act so violent towards such a caring, dedicated partner?  Like a flash of lightning, Kizna's true feelings were revealed to her.  She was in love with her partner and everything would turn out alright if she could only express her feelings.

Zero, meanwhile, was staring at his partner in equal amazement.  Why had he never noticed how her hair curled around her cheek just so?  How could he have overlooked how adorable those cat ears were?  Why had he never noticed how rosy her cheeks were and how deep her gaze was?  What had made him treat her like a sibling, when she so obviously deserved her deepest love?  Because, suddenly, Zero knew that love was exactly what he felt for his pink haired repairer.  Zero knew that everything would turn out alright if he could only express his feelings.

Swept up by the moment, the partners leaned together into a kiss of true and passionate love.  As their lips touched, however, they soon came to realize that something was utterly wrong.  The infatuation which had lead them to this moment, disintegrated into nothing, leaving the candidate and repairer in a very compromising position.  

Blushing furiously, both pushed the other back out to arms lengths.  It was Zero who broke the silence first.

"What the hell just happened?!"  

Kizna wiped her mouth on the back of her uniform sleeve before answering.  "I think we just…kissed.  It was like what kissing my brother would be like." Kizna shook her head as if to rid herself of the image.  "Coincidentally, little brother is coming to GOA in two weeks where he will immediately take the place of Clay and challenge you for Top position of second troop."

Zero followed suit and wiped his mouth of on the back of his hand.  "I'm sure it would be like kissing my sister if I had one," he agreed.

"What is wrong with you people?" a voice cried out from behind them.  Zero and Kizna spun together to notice a young girl in archaic clothing standing behind them.  Kizna was confused, upset, and in no mood for dealing with a child who had obviously just gotten off a shuttle.

"Look, I don't know how you got here, but this is not a place you're supposed to be.  Retrace your steps, find your group, and follow your escort's directions.  We don't have time to deal with you right now."

The girl frowned.  "You were much nicer in the seventh episode," she accused.  At Kizna's blank expression, she decided to elaborate.  "I saw this show last night called Pilot Candidate on Cartoon Network.  It was so cool that I just had to come and write fan fiction for it right away.  I had this great idea for a Zero and Kizna romance, but you two just stopped, why?"

Zero took this time to join the conversation.  "You knew we were going to kiss?  How?"

The girl sighed as if the answer was obvious.  "Because I made you two kiss, of course.  I also tried to improve your attitude, but that seems to have not worked out either.  You shouldn't swear, its bad for the soul."

"You made us kiss?  You were the one making Zero talk like that?" Kizna's incredulous tone was edged with accusation.

The junior high school student, however, mistook Kizna's red face for embarrassment.  Smiling in what she thought to be a benign expression, the girl proceeded to try and comfort the stricken repairer. "Oh, don't worry about being embarrassed.  I'm sure after a few kisses there will be no need to make such a fuss and you can declare your love openly to the world."

"More kisses?"  Kizna's mind latched onto the idea with growing horror.

"No, there will not be anymore kisses."  Zero's voice was firm and his face was set with determination.  "You are going back to wherever you came from and leaving us alone, forever."  Each word was punctuated with a step taken towards the twelve-year-old.

The girl, realizing that she may have gotten into trouble again, quickly began to babble of excuses.  "But, I don't know how I got here.  I had logged on to Fanfiction.net to upload my story, when suddenly I was here.  I don't know why I'm here or why I can change everything."  The girl held up here hands in a peace gesture.  However, Zero took it as a sign that she was about to do something to them.  The memory of complete lack of control still strong in his mind, Zero lunged forwards.  Releasing a small scream of terror, the girl turned and began to flee the hanger with Zero right behind her.

"You were definitely a lot nicer in episode seven," she called over her shoulder.

"Yes, but I bet that in episode seven, whatever it is, I was _not forced to act like a raving lunatic and kiss my repairer," Zero retorted._

Kizna took one wistful look back at her almost completed repairs.  However, she doubted that introspection would solve anything in this case.  With a small sigh, Kizna took off after the chase.  She had a score to settle.

~*~

Wow, this chapter was even more biting that the first chapter.  I didn't think that would be possible.  If you didn't think this chapter was more mocking than the first chapter, you missed a lot of points (subtlety, remember?).  This chapter was so cutting, however, that I feel an explanation is needed. 

Actually, of all of the non-canon couples in MK, Zero and Kizna are probably my favorite.  I admit that when I saw my first episode of MK, my first thought was Zero and Kizna would make a great couple.  Of course, then I learned more about their characters and how slim the probability of them getting together was.  Then I met Erts, who has more hints with Zero then anyone else in the series and desperately needs someone, but even after all of that I don't mind Zero and Kizna stories.  The "moral" of the chapter is in the more subtle comments.  It was in the characters falling in love in two seconds for no good reason; it was in the stock dialog and the out-of-character actions; it was in too many pokes and jabs to list here.  Zero and Kizna were the only couple with which I could accurately portray this commentary.  However, I'm now beginning to fear that the subtleties were ignored for the larger picture.  So, I would really appreciate your input.


	3. From the Author

I've been getting a lot of e-mails lately, and I think it's time I cleared some things up.  
  
There is a person (I won't name anyone) who sent me an e-mail which said this:  
  
"You always flame on like almost every single story you ever read! What is the matter with you? . Now you have never flamed me (because I have no stories) but I have seen you around, reviewing certain stories, and YOU NEVER STOP!"  
  
Now, there is a difference between a flame and a review of criticism. A difference most of this fandom can't seem to comprehend. A flame is misspelled and goes along the lines of "I 8 u. UR stori sucks." As you can see, those two sentences are completely misspelled, and do not tell what is wrong. If you will look at my reviews, unless the story was beyond help, I listed everything that was wrong in the story and why it was wrong. In a few cases, I even listed how to fix the errors. I acknowledge that I am unnecessarily mean in most of my reviews, but that is because most of those who I try to help, I know will yell at me no matter what tone I use. Before I registered on Fanfiction.net, I went around and gave positive messages along with a few helpful hints. Those hints were flatly ignored, and I was yelled at as much as if I had outright flamed them. If you write a story, and are hoping for complete popularity, you're in for a shock. The whole point of Fanfiction.net is to IMPROVE, not boost your ego. If you are not here to listen to what people say, then I hope you do get out.  
  
In one of the reviews, I was given this message:  
  
"I personaly think you are very arrogrant. You shoot down every newby that writes. People write what they feel. You need to understand that."  
  
First, I want to address the "people write what they feel". This is fan fiction. If you want to write what you feel, go over to the original fiction section. Fan fiction, contrary to popular belief, has boundaries. These boundaries were set by the creator of the story. If you are just going to throw away the boundaries, and make the characters act however you want them to, you might as well change the names of the characters and write your own story, because you really do have little connection to the world that is Megami Kouhosei. This isn't to say that you can't write anything non-canon. On the contrary, there are a few non-canon couples I enjoy in other animes. However, if they are not written well, even I do not like them. Non-canon stories are some of the hardest to write, because it takes a lot to make them plausible. They are stories beginners should not try to surmount, and, if the writer decides they want to do so anyways, they are stories that the writer cannot use the excuse "I'm a beginner" to. If you are a beginner, and you do not want help, you should write a beginner topic. These topics include extrapolation of scenes, canon romances, and theories.  
  
A good example of this would be Ikhny Gnr's story (by the way, I have the utmost respect for Ikhny Gnr. She has e-mailed me asking questions on the series, and she is trying to improve.) of Hiead's past. It was flat out wrong. It contradicted many of facts we do know about Hiead's past. But that doesn't matter, because it was a theory, and it involved thought, and wasn't a mindless romance (at least until the end).  
  
Next, I would like to address the "you shoot down every newbie who writes" accusation. This is completely untrue. I review all stories that are bad, regardless of how "new" the writer is. I don't hold alliances, and if I think your story could be improved I'm going to tell you about it. You people don't seem to realize that the review system was actually put there for the reason that I use it for. Way back in the good ole days, you didn't find the two second mindless reviews like you do today. Oh, a person may say they like your story, but they would always include a hint or suggestion for the future. Writers grew quickly, because they were in an atmosphere that promoted improvement. Now, to get anything that is not mind-numbingly positive across, you have to be mean. My way may not be perfect, but I realize that the completely positive reviews everyone is getting is only slowing people's development as writers. You may be new, and you may not know much about the series, but that's why you should listen to those of us who do.  
  
Next, I would like to address the line:  
  
"If you don't like how it is then DON'T READ IT."  
  
This is what is wrong in the world of fan fiction today. If I only read things in this fandom that I completely liked, I would read less than one story a month. Writers, beginner writers especially, might have a good essence in their story (a thought, plot, etc.), but their follow through could be bad. It is the duty of experienced writers to help correct these errors, and to show the writer what they have done wrong. This statement is the epitome of the troubles of this fandom, because people either refuse to read a story they know they won't completely agree with, or they just gloss over the errors. This doesn't help the fandom or the writer in the long run.  
  
Next, I would like to wonder about the review signed by the Irritated Observer. Yup, someone tried to review my story with my name. I had to put this in, because now I'm worried that someone is actually going to go around the fandom pretending to be me. So, if the review isn't signed, uses cuss words, or has terrible spelling, I didn't do it.  
  
Also, I would like to show you what an actual flame looks like. I received this in an e-mail, so I will not disclose who sent it.  
  
"I ALREADY KNOW!! AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE IT IS THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! AND BY THE WAY - I TORTURE THEM AND MAKE THEM RUDE, ARROGANT AND WELL - I TORTURE THEM MORE!!!!!! WILL THAT WORK?!?!?!!"  
  
See, this is a flame. Clearly note the all caps, the slang terms, and the lack of reasoning. I actually have no clue what this person is talking about, and it serves no purpose. If you will compare this review to most of my reviews, you will see that I do not flame.  
  
Another note, for those of you reviewers who actually don't write, but come to the "rescue" of those authors who I do review, I have a news flash. Many of those authors (I won't name anyone, in case they don't want to be known) actually e-mailed me with questions on the series. I've replied (hopefully helpfully, though with extremely long answers) to every one of them (if I missed you, please e-mail me again. I can be so forgetful). Some of the people even thanked me for criticizing their stories. So let the writers stick up for themselves. You never know, they might just want to get better.  
  
Also, I think I've said this before, but I'm always open to beta-read your story, fix grammar errors, and make content suggestions (except for Hiead/anyone stories. Those will only get a lengthy essay on how Hiead will never love anyone). So, you really have no excuse for writing poorly.  
  
To those of you who will continue to give every character a lobotomy, I will continue to tell you what's wrong in your characterization, because I love Megami Kouhosei, and I refuse to see such an awesome storyline go to ruin.  
  
To those of you who enjoyed "Just Another Day", the next chapter should be up soon. See as the pilots of GIS become magically transported to GOA, and OoC-ness abounds. ^^ 


End file.
